Introversion is among the most misunderstood concept in the modern world. In fact, majority of introverts don’t truly understand this trait that’s at the core of their personality (;of-course I know that. lol). And you can’t blame; in our society as a whole, the ideal self is bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight. So a lot of us introverts grow up trying to fit-in the ‘extroverted ideal’. (Thanks Susan Cain for putting it all together)

But the truth is, you can’t beat yourself up to become who you’re not. In fact, comparing, despairing, and trying to fit-in or match-up to this extrovert-ideal is a source of great suffering for introverts in the modern world.

In order to find your inner peace and calm, it is important that you start understanding and calming this difference of your personality. It’s important that you start learning to USE your natural trait to your advantage, and use it as a fuel towards your dreams.

So, here’s how to claim your introversion:

1. First of all, understand your difference. Start by educating yourself about the ‘norms’ of introversion. For example, did you know, Introverts thrive in low-stimulating environments. They have a natural and biological preference for it. Now, if you don’t truly understand that it’s a normal part of your personality, you could fall into the self-judgment trap. Making yourself feel wrong about what is simply a personality trait. So, understanding your natural preferences as an introvert is the first step.

(Recommendation: read this book called Quiet – The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain)

2. Based on your understanding of this trait of Introversion, the next thing to do is to clarify your preferences as an introvert. Everyone has their own unique blueprint of personality, so as you study the concept and norms of introversion, it is important that you also see how these concepts apply to you. Get curious and ask yourself, what’s that ideal environment and stimulation that I enjoy in the different areas & context of my life? Clarify what your preferences are as in introvert.

3. Once you understand the natural preference of your personality style, reframe & redefine yourself in the new light. Here’s an example, I had a client who thought she is ‘anti-social’, which she thought limited her growth, personally as well as professionally. But when we explored around this in our sessions, she realized that she actually enjoyed social interactions, in her own unique way. When she understood that it’s a normal part of her introverted personality to seek out low stimulating environments, she realized that she is NOT an anti-social person… but that she just has a different preference and threshold for interacting with people. Mere redefining herself in this new-light made a huge difference in how she approached social interactions and felt about herself.

4. Deciding, ahead of time. Although this would be true for everyone, but it’s especially important for introverts to bring more intention to their life. Here’s how… think about your preferences and make some decisions to support them, in advance. “I’m going to spend 45 engaged minutes on this social activity and then I’m gonna head off for my me-time”. By making decisions ahead of time, you can intentionally honor your preference for low/limited external stimulation, and at the same time be more present and effective in the time you do show up otherwise. It’s like, your brain is comforted in knowing that it’s going to get it’s slow-down time and so it shows up more engaged, more naturally.

If you notice, the common theme that binds this process of claiming your introversion involves awareness and intentionality. There’s one more important thing to keep in mind: Be gentle and kind to yourself!

You’ve got to understand, your brain is programmed with your old thinking patterns and old ways-of-being. The old way of thinking is well-rehearsed awnd well-practiced… and so it comes more easily to the brain. So, while your cognitive awareness & understanding expands, watch out for any impatience or ‘rushed-ness’. Real change happens from a place of self-compassion & love. So take it slow and be kind with yourself as you begin to understand yourself, and head out on this journey home. That is going to be the most